J's Birth Story

I wanted to share J's birth story, as his birthday is May 8. I wanted to post it now instead of on his birthday because this is when my water broke and I went into labor- 10 PM on May 6. Caution: If you are afraid to have a baby because you're afraid of labor...don't read this. If you're pregnant and apprehensive about your upcoming labor...don't read this.

I was forty-two weeks pregnant. My OBGYN had been pressuring me to induce, but I wanted to birth naturally. My husband and I had been going to Bradley Method classes, which advocated natural birth with relaxation techniques and your partner as a coach. We learned all the evils of hospitals and drugs, and we had decided to try a home birth. (I can just see everyone grimacing. Watch The Business of Being Born and then tell me it doesn't pique your interest in home birthing.)

I'll pass, thanks for offering

My Bradley teacher (also my doula, or labor coach) told me that when my contractions first started, that I could still go about my day. It's not like the movies where the woman's water breaks and everyone rushes to the hospital and out pops a baby ten minutes later. If I was at work, I could finish up and drive home. If I was tired, I should try to get some sleep.

Unfortunately for me, my water broke and contractions started right before bed Friday night. And I was already really tired because I had only slept a few hours the night before. And I don't know what my doula was smoking when she said that I could sleep through the early contractions, because that ish was PAINFUL. I tried to rest and be quiet and let my husband sleep, but after a few minutes I woke him up because I didn't want to labor alone.

My husband and I were really excited. He was timing my contractions with an app as I was getting dressed in a bathing suit (we were going to use a birthing pool as part of the pain management). I think we waited to call the midwife until my contractions were about five minutes apart at 6:00 Saturday morning. I thought I was progressing quickly, everyone was hopeful that even though this was my first labor, that it would be a fast one. My doula said, "This baby may be out by lunch!"

And then...hours after lunch...no baby. My midwives kept checking me, and I stayed at 9.5 cm all afternoon and evening (for those of you who don't know, 10 centimeters is fully dilated and means you're about to push). Both of the midwives were checking me and trying to move this one tiny flap of skin that was keeping me from being fully dilated. But nothing worked. My husband had been feeding me hard boiled eggs and fruit to keep up my energy.  I was getting in and out of the tub. I was doing different positions. I was bouncing on the ball. My body was getting exhausted. This is where my memory gets hazy. I remember my body was so worn out that I actually stopped having contractions and I passed out on my bed. I was back in the tub. I was on my knees, grabbing my husband's arms for dear life when excruciating contractions where coming every ninety seconds. I started flipping over on my back and passing out after contractions and then jerking awake the second a fresh one started. Grab husband's arms, pass out. Wake up, grab husband's arms, pass out. 

I think it was about 2:00 Sunday morning when I gave up. I was so exhausted and I had been half a centimeter away from getting J out for so long that it seemed like I would never fully dilate. I was mentally and physically wiped out. I felt like a failure, like I wasted all those Bradley classes, and like I wasted time and money on my doula and midwives.

But DAMN that epidural felt good! Everyone caravaned to the hospital. We were on the interstate, and when we topped the crest of the hill and could see the hospital, I remember it looked like a shining Mecca of pain relief (if I could only get there with no contractions in the car!). We got a room, they started an IV, they started pumping the devil's drug into me (Pitocin), and I did the stereotypical scream-at-the-nurse-for-my-epidural routine. Blessed relief. My epidural was the perfect one, where it takes out all the pain and yet I could still feel the labor and the urge to push. Some unlucky women get an epidural, but it doesn't do anything. Sometimes it only works on one side of the body. Many times women can't feel the urge to push and they have to rely on the machine to tell them. 

I got the best three-hour nap of my life. I think it was 7:00 Sunday morning when I woke up and wanted to push. My L&D nurse, Anne, was awesome. My doctor was...not. I just felt like she was being impatient with me and didn't care about the birth and wanted to get the baby out so she could get back to her soap operas or whatever. So I didn't mind at all when the hindwaters broke all over her face. At 9:28 AM,  35.5 hours after my water broke and 33.5 hours after my contractions began, J was born! He was 8 lbs. 14 oz. and 20.5 inches long.

He was awesome! He hardly cried, and he just chilled and looked around the room at everyone. He's forty minutes old in this picture.