Cooking so easy Micaela can do it

I think I might start this topic on my blog. I should figure out a bunch of easy recipes and write a cookbook for people who suck at cooking. My food stinks. I feel sorry for my husband. His mother is an awesome cook, and I'm lucky if my food is edible. He used to be so spoiled, eating awesome made-from-scratch meals made by his mother. Now he eats frozen dinners from Costco made my me.

pretty much my cooking style

I think I'm going to venture out and try one made-from-scratch meal each week. I'm pretty much a one-trick pony- I make good banana bread. That's it. The only thing I can make that is consistently edible. If you suck at cooking or baking, I promise you can make this. If I can do it, you can do it. Here's the recipe from allrecipes.com.

Ingredients:

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 cup butter

3/4 cup brown sugar

2 eggs, beaten

2 1/3 cups mashed overripe bananas

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 9x5 loaf pan.

2. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and salt.

3. In a separate bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Stir in eggs and bananas until well blended.

4. Stir banana mixture into flour mixture, stir just to moisten. Pour into loaf pan.

5. Bake 60-65 minutes.

I use whole wheat flour, but I think I might start using white because my husband likes it better that way. I also might start putting in chocolate chips. One thing I started accidentally is I don't mash my bananas all the way, I leave it a little chunky. When you eat it fresh from the oven, it's amazing. The little banana chunks are all gooey and warm. I started doing this because I was too lazy to mash it all the way. I keep doing it because I'm lazy and I think it still tastes good ^_^ Another note about bananas- I never have exactly 2 1/3 cups. I've used from 1 1/2- 2 1/2 cups depending on how many bananas I have, and it always tastes good.

I think I'll make chicken next time. I bought sweet chili sauce from Trader Joe's that I think I might put in the crock pot with some chicken. I also bought a 10,000 pound bag of potatoes from Costco that I need to use, so I'm making mashed potatoes (I think my mashed potatoes have been edible every time, but I'm not sure). I'll let you guys know how that goes. If I don't burn or cut myself, the apartment complex isn't burned to the ground, and the food is edible, that already qualifies for a 4 out of 5 stars in my book :)

J's First Trip to the Dentist

I took J on his first trip to the dentist this week. He was great 90% of the time. He was flirting with the ladies and playing peek-a-boo with the male dental hygienist. When it was time for the dentist to clean his teeth....that's when it got rough. She told me to put him on his back and hold him while she cleaned his teeth. I tried to explain to the lady that he HATES being on his back and it would be easier if he was sitting, but she didn't listen. J had blood drawn a week or so ago, and he was incredible. Since they had to fill up 4 tubes and his veins are small, they had to leave the needle in his arm for 5 minutes. He didn't cry or fuss or anything. Just sat there are looked at the needle in his arm. However, because he was on his back when he had his teeth cleaned, he cried and thrashed around the whole time, even though she was very gentle with him and didn't hurt him at all. He got a toy and a balloon afterwards, so he calmed down.

His dentist seemed like she was wondering why I brought in a baby to have a check up. I just figured since he was 1 and has 6 teeth, that he should probably have them looked at. I guess she's the kind of dentist who prefers to see kids starting at age 3. But she was cool about it and gave me a lot of pointers. Some of this I knew, some I didn't. I'll share it all with you if you're wondering about caring for your baby's teeth:

-Brush at least twice a day.

-Brush before they ingest anything in the morning so they don't swallow the bacteria in their mouth.

-Pay attention to where the teeth meet the gums. If you notice plaque build-up, brush extra in that area.

-Use a fluoride-free toothpaste until they learn to spit out the toothpaste. Take care to read the label because there is children's toothpaste with fluoride. Get the one that says 4-24 months and/or fluoride free.

-Wipe out the mouth with a wet cloth after brushing, and try to get the gums and tongue.

-Use a children's toothbrush- they have small heads and soft bristles.

-If your baby's teeth touch, you should floss them. (I asked her how in the hell you floss a baby's teeth. She said to put him on the floor and straddle him. That seems really cruel to me, so...we'll try sitting up.)

-Pay attention to their fluoride intake. It is in tap water, bottled water, food, drinks, toothpaste, and supplements. Too much fluoride will stain the permanent teeth that have not erupted yet. (Don't worry too much about this, just see if you can research how much fluoride is in the water your baby drinks. If the pediatrician prescribes a supplement with fluoride, tell him/her how much water your child is drinking to make sure it's not too much fluoride.)

Already an expert! 

(Not really, he's just sucking down the toothpaste because he loves the taste.)

5 Ways I Was Stupid This Week

1. I put J in a fresh, clean outfit right before letting him feed himself a banana and mashed veggies.

2. I ran into a pole. Good thing my SUV is 11 years old so I don't have to feel bad about the nice, new yellow and black marks on the bumper.

3. I left a pen out and J marked all over our white couch with it. But it was $180 from Walmart, so whatever.

4. J loves putting things in containers and taking things out. So of course I forgot to clean out his potty and he put toys in it. I'll spare you the picture.

5. I brought my husband shopping. I leave him unattended for 5 seconds and this is what happens:

Burkenomics: Cloth Wipes

So I made the switch to cloth diapers and thought I was done saving money in the diapers department. Then I heard about cloth wipes. All I could think of was how disgusting that sounded. I thought that I could deal with cloth diapering, but these people who were using cloth wipes were taking it a bit too far. I mean, that's what you use to scrape up the cracks to get the ish. And people reused that?! Gross.

But then...being a Burke...I broke out the calculator. I'm not going to bore you with the math this time, I'll just summarize. I calculated that I would save between $450-$650 with four kids. I compared the Huggies Natural Care baby wipes (my favorite disposables) from Costco with the $5 coupon to making wipes with expensive organic baby soap. Plus I'm sure I'll be using baby wipes after I'm done wiping butts. Little kids are mess machines, and I want 4 of them. So I bet I could tack on some more savings if I keep making wipes instead of buying them until the youngest is 5 or so.

Doesn't sound like a lot to pay for the convenience? For some perspective at what I was about to throw in the trash can, I could save enough money to buy each baby a silver spoon from Tiffany's. If I save a little more than I calculated, I could throw in a diamond necklace for myself too (if only my husband would let me buy stuff from Tiffany's with all the money I saved doing cloth diapers and wipes...a girl can only hope...).

So for 1/3 the price of Huggie's Natural Care from Costco, I get organic wipes, plus that's less waste that I'm putting into landfills. And it's not hard to make them and it just takes a minute. It takes me less time to make wipes than it does to fight my way past all those stupid people loitering in the middle of the aisles with their huge Costco carts and get the box of disposables.

If you want to give them a try, I promise they are not as disgusting as they sound. To be honest, it did take me a week or two to really get used to it, but now I don't think I'll ever go back to disposables.

I know for 99.99% of people, a cost savings that small, especially spread out over that many years, is not worth it. At all. And I totally get that. I'm just the kind of person who if you give me $1000 and say, "You can either have baby wipes, or you have baby wipes AND baby heirloom gifts from Tiffany's," I'm going to put in a little bit of work to squeeze the most out of my money.

If you're interested, it's pretty easy to get started. It more mainstream than I thought. You can purchase cloth wipes from cloth diapering stores and websites, Ebay, and I even found them at Target.com and Toysrus.com. You would probably want to purchase 2 dozen. A basic recipe for cloth wipe solution is 1 cup water, 1 tsp. baby oil, and 1 tsp. baby wash. 

Gymboree Class

J is one, and I've already turned into one of those mothers who enrolls her kid in classes. I took him to Gymboree Play & Learn, and I think he likes it. The only problem is that he doesn't like structured activities, he just likes to roam around and do what he wants. The first class was a little hard for him because they do so many different activities in the 45 minutes you're there. One minute the teacher is having them play in a ball pit. Then she's blowing bubbles that she wants them to catch. Then we put the kids on an air log and let them see saw. Then they're pushing the air log. Then we help them dance to songs we sing. And on, and on, and on. All he wanted to do the first class was sit and inspect some of the new toys. When it was time to do an activity and he couldn't sit with the toys, he got really upset. He was better at the second class because he knew what to expect, but he still wanted to roam around on his own instead of doing activities.

Interested in Gymboree classes? Here's what it looks like:

The theme of this class was "Things Filled with Air."

J was the only white kid

Air log see saw

The log roll activity

The "busy box of toys"

The bubble activity

You get one class a week for $70 a month. You can also go at extra designated times for unstructured play time, so you can go up to 4 times a week if you feel like it. We signed up with their promotion right now, which is $59 for the first month and no enrollment fee. If you are still taking classes after 9 months, they drop your rate down to $55 a month. I think I'm going to keep taking him there so he can get out of the house and socialize more. I think I may start couponing after all to help pay for this. If I can save $110 on groceries every month (we have $400 budgeted), then I want to enroll him in the music class in addition to the Play & Learn.

J's Diet

I was trying to think of a topic to write about as I was feeding my son lunch, and I figured I might as well do a post about what he eats. I'm on a mission to cram as many calories into J as I can before he starts walking. I would like him to get up to 20 pounds by then. His pediatrician in Kansas City had suggested putting oil or butter in his food, so I started blending tons of butter in his veggies. It seems to be working, because he's been gaining a pound a month since I've been doing this (not a lot for most babies, but that's a lot for J). And by tons of butter, I mean I could probably write a Paula Dean baby food book.

Here's what J eats in a typical day:

Breakfast: breast milk, banana, egg cooked in butter
Snack: breast milk, Cheerios
Lunch: chicken and veggies blended with butter, apple juice
Snack: breast milk and he steals some of my lunch
Dinner: veggies blended with butter, some of my dinner, apple juice
Bedtime: breast milk (I'm a bad/lazy mom, I nurse him to sleep most of the time)

I admire people who do all organics. I'm trying, but it's hard with a husband who is cheap and thinks organics are a waste of money.

pretty much

I can buy organics for J as long as the price difference isn't too much. J's eggs, butter, veggies, and apple juice are all organic. Buying these at Costco makes it easier. Organic eggs and butter at Costco are the same price as non organic at Vons, the grocery store we shop at. The organic veggies are actually a lot cheaper than Vons. And the apple juice is a bit more expensive, but my husband is fine with the price because it will take J a long time to go through 2 gallons of juice. The chicken he eats isn't organic, but it is steroid and hormone free. I'm looking at buying him organic bananas because those are only 10 cents more per pound. I haven't looked into organic Cheerios yet. His dinner will never be all organic because he eats what we eat- frozen dinners from Costco or restaurant food.

It probably horrifies some of you mommies that I give him so much butter, but I'm so tired of him being tiny. He is a little over 18 pounds, and he was supposed to weigh this at 4 months, not 12. He's "supposed" to weigh about 27 pounds now. Another reason why I don't mind giving him butter is because I believe the lipid hypothesis/diet-heart hypothesis is a lie that is propagated by the government and Big Pharma.

My attempt at photography

Before J was born, I talked my husband into letting me buy a new camera. Many people nowadays like to take tons of photo shoots with their babies: newborn shoots, 3-month shoots, 6-month, 9-month, 12-month, 18-month, 2-year, and every year after that. We don't have that kind of money, but I told him that if we had a good enough camera, that we could attempt to do it ourselves. We bought a Fujifilm Finepix F300 EXR because that was the best camera I could get for $200. I can't wait for the day that I can afford a professional camera, but until then, my Fujifilm does a pretty good job. Here are J's 1-year pictures. I got a lot of good pictures, but here are the best ones. I had to take about 400 pictures to get these. I can't decide if these are good enough, or if I want to hire a professional photographer to take more. We're also having a family picture in a studio.

I'm framing this one in the frame that he's sitting in. I wanted him to hold it up so his face would be in the frame, but I gave up on that.

This would be perfect if his face wasn't dark. 

Some of these were at the Greystone Mansion, some from church, and some from a park. We drove for an hour to the Greystone, only to find that a wedding was scheduled that day in the garden I really wanted to take pictures in.

That was fun in my Sequoia.

We also walked around Rodeo Drive since we were already in Beverly Hills. We found these in Saks. Some people have too much money...

Mother's Day was great this year. This is my second Mother's Day, my first was the day J was born. All I wanted was to eat at Denny's (with a coupon, of course) and to not change any diapers (I changed one). Church was fun this week. We go to the Danish Lutheran Church. The church service was in Danish that day. They had a fancy dinner for Danish Eve. We were seated at a table with two other families with babies. We joked that we were at the kids' table because if you took out the 9 of us, the average age of the crowd would be about 70.

Burkenomics: Restaurant deals and Ebates.com

A few months ago, I was reading a lady's blog about couponing. I was inspired after watching Extreme Couponing, but I haven't delved too deeply into that yet.

Maybe if my husband loses his job...

She mentioned Groupon, Living Social, and Morgan's Deals, which we were already doing to stretch our dining out money. Then she enlightened me about Restaurant.com, which is a better deal. Have you heard of that before? It's another coupon that you buy, but these save you even more money. With Groupon, Living Social, and Morgan's Deals, you usually get 50% off. With Restaurant.com, you get about 65% off. Most of their coupons are $25 off $35, and you pay $10 for it. But you should always wait for the sales. The lowest they go is $1- but only (I think) once a year. I think the last time I saw that was around the 4th of July. They have them for $2 every other month or so, which is the sale that I wait for. So we get a $35 dinner for $12, plus tax and tip. This basically stretches our dining out money from $200 to $300. It's usually not big chain restaurants like Olive Garden, Red Robin, etc. It offers coupons for a lot of hole-in-the-wall ethnic restaurants, which I like better.

With Ebates, you save even more. Have you heard of Ebates? I wish I had discovered this years ago. They send you a check every quarter for a percentage back of the shopping you do online. It's awesome, and it's not a scam. Businesses pay them for advertising, and they pass some of that money back to you. Buying clothes from Target? Go to Target.com through Ebates.com and shop as usual. Ebates then gives you back 3% of what you spent. Buying a Restaurant.com certificate? Go to Restaurant.com through Ebates and they give you back 25%. You also get 3% back for Groupons. It doesn't sound like much, but it sure adds up. I get about $20 back each quarter. You can get money back for everything from Sephora to Apple.

Hey, at least she got 8% back on that makeup.

All you have to do for Ebates is sign up (put "micaelael@yahoo.com" in the referral section!) and remember to go through their site when you buy things online. Just search for the store you want in the search bar, click on it, and it takes you to the store's website. It only takes 5 seconds and you get money back.

And don't forget to sign up for restaurant mailing lists. You usually get free meals or desserts on your birthday and a lot of coupons throughout the year. I ate for free for almost a week last year from signing up for so many restaurants.

Happy savings!

J's First Birthday

We don't really know anyone here yet, so we decided to do J's party when we visit family in Alabama. But we still wanted to do something he would enjoy, so we went to the Aquarium of the Pacific on Sunday. My father-in-law was in town for a business trip and came with us.

J loved it! Like most babies, he's really curious and observant, so he loved looking at the different animals and splashing in the stingray pool.

On Tuesday, his birthday, we ate at a Mexican restaurant. They sang to him and gave him flan.

 Then we did a little family cake-and-presents thing.

I got all this for $15. But he doesn't have a learning table yet, so I'm working on finding one for him.

He had his 12-month check-up today. Here's his stats:

Weight: 18 lbs. 4 oz. (finally doubled his birth weight!)

Height: 27.75"

Teeth: 5

Cruising: like a pro

Walking: no

Words: loves saying "dad," only says "mama" occasionally (and I guess you could count his grunting as GIVE IT TO ME NOW!)

Hands: does his "hula hands" and looks/grunts at something to show he wants it, just started clapping, can't wave "bye" or point yet

Favorite game: Peekaboo (he hides his face and I "look" for him)

Favorite book: Smile! (a book with smiling babies)

Favorite toy: a rubber bracelet I had and his aspirator

Favorite TV show: tie between Dora and The Backyardigans

Favorite activities: eating, playing with toys, going to the park, slamming doors in my face

Favorite food: bananas 

Favorite thing ever: cell phones

Other favorites: sticking out his tongue, flirting with ladies

My husband was trying to get J to take a step the day before his birthday so he could say that J was walking at 11 months. He got J to crash into the couch with his hands not touching anything and wanted to count that, but...not sure if I'm writing it down in his baby book as the "official" first step yet.

I did, however, consign to recognize "dad" as his first word. I tried to write it off as babbling for as long as possible because I really wanted his first word to be "mama." But he's been saying "dad" so often and for so long, that I finally caved.

I'm glad I didn't schedule J's 12-month appointment on his birthday. He had to get 4 shots and was NOT happy. J's pediatrician made me feel like a bad mom, though. He's so good with J in the way that he interacts with him, but he talks down to me and acts like I put him in a corner and ignore him all day just because he can't walk and only says two words. He gave me ominous warnings about physical therapy if he isn't walking by 15 months and speech therapy if he isn't saying more words by 15 months. J can't point, so Dr. Ong assumed that I don't read to him or point things out to him. He gave me a handout explaining why parents should read to babies. If we weren't moving in less than a year, I'd find another pediatrician. The last time I checked, milestones were not races.

J's Birth Story

I wanted to share J's birth story, as his birthday is May 8. I wanted to post it now instead of on his birthday because this is when my water broke and I went into labor- 10 PM on May 6. Caution: If you are afraid to have a baby because you're afraid of labor...don't read this. If you're pregnant and apprehensive about your upcoming labor...don't read this.

I was forty-two weeks pregnant. My OBGYN had been pressuring me to induce, but I wanted to birth naturally. My husband and I had been going to Bradley Method classes, which advocated natural birth with relaxation techniques and your partner as a coach. We learned all the evils of hospitals and drugs, and we had decided to try a home birth. (I can just see everyone grimacing. Watch The Business of Being Born and then tell me it doesn't pique your interest in home birthing.)

I'll pass, thanks for offering

My Bradley teacher (also my doula, or labor coach) told me that when my contractions first started, that I could still go about my day. It's not like the movies where the woman's water breaks and everyone rushes to the hospital and out pops a baby ten minutes later. If I was at work, I could finish up and drive home. If I was tired, I should try to get some sleep.

Unfortunately for me, my water broke and contractions started right before bed Friday night. And I was already really tired because I had only slept a few hours the night before. And I don't know what my doula was smoking when she said that I could sleep through the early contractions, because that ish was PAINFUL. I tried to rest and be quiet and let my husband sleep, but after a few minutes I woke him up because I didn't want to labor alone.

My husband and I were really excited. He was timing my contractions with an app as I was getting dressed in a bathing suit (we were going to use a birthing pool as part of the pain management). I think we waited to call the midwife until my contractions were about five minutes apart at 6:00 Saturday morning. I thought I was progressing quickly, everyone was hopeful that even though this was my first labor, that it would be a fast one. My doula said, "This baby may be out by lunch!"

And then...hours after lunch...no baby. My midwives kept checking me, and I stayed at 9.5 cm all afternoon and evening (for those of you who don't know, 10 centimeters is fully dilated and means you're about to push). Both of the midwives were checking me and trying to move this one tiny flap of skin that was keeping me from being fully dilated. But nothing worked. My husband had been feeding me hard boiled eggs and fruit to keep up my energy.  I was getting in and out of the tub. I was doing different positions. I was bouncing on the ball. My body was getting exhausted. This is where my memory gets hazy. I remember my body was so worn out that I actually stopped having contractions and I passed out on my bed. I was back in the tub. I was on my knees, grabbing my husband's arms for dear life when excruciating contractions where coming every ninety seconds. I started flipping over on my back and passing out after contractions and then jerking awake the second a fresh one started. Grab husband's arms, pass out. Wake up, grab husband's arms, pass out. 

I think it was about 2:00 Sunday morning when I gave up. I was so exhausted and I had been half a centimeter away from getting J out for so long that it seemed like I would never fully dilate. I was mentally and physically wiped out. I felt like a failure, like I wasted all those Bradley classes, and like I wasted time and money on my doula and midwives.

But DAMN that epidural felt good! Everyone caravaned to the hospital. We were on the interstate, and when we topped the crest of the hill and could see the hospital, I remember it looked like a shining Mecca of pain relief (if I could only get there with no contractions in the car!). We got a room, they started an IV, they started pumping the devil's drug into me (Pitocin), and I did the stereotypical scream-at-the-nurse-for-my-epidural routine. Blessed relief. My epidural was the perfect one, where it takes out all the pain and yet I could still feel the labor and the urge to push. Some unlucky women get an epidural, but it doesn't do anything. Sometimes it only works on one side of the body. Many times women can't feel the urge to push and they have to rely on the machine to tell them. 

I got the best three-hour nap of my life. I think it was 7:00 Sunday morning when I woke up and wanted to push. My L&D nurse, Anne, was awesome. My doctor was...not. I just felt like she was being impatient with me and didn't care about the birth and wanted to get the baby out so she could get back to her soap operas or whatever. So I didn't mind at all when the hindwaters broke all over her face. At 9:28 AM,  35.5 hours after my water broke and 33.5 hours after my contractions began, J was born! He was 8 lbs. 14 oz. and 20.5 inches long.

He was awesome! He hardly cried, and he just chilled and looked around the room at everyone. He's forty minutes old in this picture.

Why We Use Cloth Diapers

I just want to say upfront that this post is not meant to admonish people who use disposables. I don't think I'm better than other people for using cloth. I don't think parents who use disposables are horrible people who are destroying the planet. I think whatever helps you be the best parent you can be and what you think is best for your children is the diaper to go with. I just thought most people don't know a lot about cloth diapering and might be interested in why people use them versus disposables.

Before I was pregnant, I had not ever used a cloth diaper, much less seen one. Cloth diapering just sounded old-fashioned and gross and like too much work.

No thank you

My husband came home one day and said that one of his work friends and his wife were going to use cloth diapers (eww!) and that his friend calculated this would save them about $2000 (oh really?). Since I want to have four children, I thought this was definitely something to research. So we talked more to our friends, researched online, and took the plunge. There are a lot of different options, which I'll tackle in another post.

The main reason we went with cloth, being Burkes, was the cost savings. (If you hate math, skip down the the paragraph beginning with "So the grand total!") We looked at the diapers at Costco, which were 15 cents each. Since J was going through 20-25 diapers a day his first three or so months, we were saving about $3-$3.75 per day, or $90-$112 per month. J started going through 15-20 diapers a day from about three months to six months. We would've been spending about $2.25-$3 per day, or $67.50-$90 per month using disposables. Since about six months, he's been going through 10-15 per day, so we are saving $1.50-$2.25, or $45-$67.50 per month. This means we've saved between $742.50-$1011. With tax, $807-$1099.

A few weeks ago, I totaled the cost of every diaper and diaper accessory we have purchased. It totaled $350 including tax. You can estimate another $10 a month for laundering. Now for kicks and giggles, I calculated how much we would save with four kids using diapers for 36 months, the average age at which children are potty trained. Since diapers get more expensive as the sizes go up, our kids would be in the 20-cent diapers between ages one and two, the 25-cent diapers between ages two and three, and they would be using 5-10 per day.

Stick with me, I hate math. Also, I'm not checking these numbers because I don't want to do all this math over again, but you'll get the point even if I make a mistake.

Between ages one and two, we would spend $1-$2 a day, or $397-$794 for the year with tax. Between ages two and three, we would spend $1.25-$2.50 per day, or $496-$992 for the year with tax.

So the grand total! We would save $1700-$2885. Per child. (Assuming it takes the average 36 months to potty train and each kid averages the number of diapers that J does). Now multiply this by the four kids I want and you get $6800-$11540. If you need me to put this in perspective, we just spent $7300 on this SUV.

There was no way in hell I was going to buy a "swagger wagon"

But yes, subtract the cloth diapers (you only have to buy them once!) so $6400-$11140, then subtract $1440 for laundering equals $4960-$9700. My brain hurts.

Me while doing math

But we also like to cloth diaper for the environmental savings. No trees cut down, no manufacturing waste, and J's poop won't rot in landfills for 500 years. Not to mention the feces bacteria that is leaching into our groundwater.

Yum! I'll have what he's having

I also like the fact that I know exactly what is against his sensitive skin- organic cotton. I have no idea what they put in disposables. I know there are known carcinogens in them.

Pampers Dry Max? I'll take the one that comes with free chemical burns!

So there you have it! A large cost savings, a smaller impact on the environment, and I know what my diapers are made of.

Burkenomics: Baby Start-up Costs

Before I got knocked up, I thought buying baby stuff would be so much fun. I wondered when I would get to be the one going around Target with the fun gun thingy, zapping everything in the baby aisles to go on my registry.

When I finally became pregnant, I wanted to shoot myself in the face. You want the best for yourself and your baby, so you want to read every review about every item you need. Online reviews are a blessing and a curse. When you're researching baby stuff, it's mostly a curse. You spend days, weeks, reading through reviews until your eyeballs start bleeding. Target and Babies R Us have "helpful guides" to aid you in picking out all your baby stuff (it'll only be $5,000, but you can open up a store credit card to save you even more money!). Each guide has about 200 different baby items your baby will shrivel up and die if it doesn't get, and each item has 50 reviews, so you do the math (for you fellow English majors, that's 10,000). So you want to stop reading, but you can't because baby items are so expensive and you don't want to waste your money buying bad products. So you keep on, finish your registry, have your baby shower, and feel great about all that time you spent reading reviews when all you get is baby clothes (no offense to everyone who gave me baby clothes, because between my two showers I got everything I needed from my registry, plus I hardly had to buy clothes for a year).

But I digress. I think what I meant to say in the last paragraph was that 1. your baby doesn't need that much stuff, 2. you baby doesn't know or care if it has a bedroom furniture set that costs as much as a car, and 3. buy used whenever possible.

Case in point: Christmas. I told some girlfriends I only spent $25 on J and everyone gasped at my apparent child abuse. Guess what? I'm doing it again for his birthday. I found $240 worth of toys on Craigslist for $25. And I'm making him a playhouse out of one of our moving boxes. I know the retail industry says we must spend hundreds of dollars every birthday and Christmas to buy tons of presents for our children, but I would rather pay off my house fifteen years early than blow all my money on toys that are going to end up in a landfill.

Here is J's cheap (I prefer "Montessori") room:

Yes, that is a mattress on a floor. J doesn't need a crib. His room is baby proofed, so when he wakes up he can crawl off and play with his toys. 

 J loves to people watch.

 Bookshelf? We don't use one. We stack his books in a corner. Babies will just throw all the books on the floor anyways.

 Expensive toy box? Nope. I used a container that I already had. He also loves to bang on my old keyboard.

 Changing table? Dresser? Expensive super-deluxe-ultra trashcan that reduces diaper stink? No, no, and no.  You can save about $200 from not buying a table, a pad, and at least two covers. (Also, if you change your baby on the floor, there is no possibility of them falling off and injuring themselves.) You can use a nice, thick towel that you already have. I bought two $13 Sterilite storage units, one for diapers and one for a dresser. If J has more clothes than will fit in the three drawers, it's too many and he won't wear them all, so it's a good guide for me. Another hint about diaper stink- you're supposed to put your babies' poop in the toilet, even if you use disposables. It doesn't stink if you do that. So go buy a $5 trashcan and don't buy into the advertising that tells you that your house will explode in diaper fumes if you don't buy their $100 trashcan.

More toys on the opposite wall.

So if the start-up cost is holding you back, know that babies can be more affordable than you think. Just don't buy into the advertising. Start with the basics- several footie pajamas and one or two sleepsacks (you can buy used if you don't get enough at a shower), a car seat, somewhere for the baby to sleep, diapers, and wipes. Just remember that babies have lived from the beginning of humanity through the 1940s without Babies R Us.