A Stay-at-Home-Mom's Christmas Guide to Awkwardly Explaining to People What You Do All Day

Ah yes, holiday small talk when people have no idea what to say to you. Just keep this blog in mind for when people do the awkward you-stay-at-home-all-day-and-I-have-no-idea-what-to-say-about-that nod.

Talk about how you like to do fun educational activities with your children.
Have a mental list ready of the Pinteresty or educational activities you've managed to complete in the past few weeks. Don't mention how it ended in you screaming at your children about getting paint on the ceiling (HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET PAINT ON THE CEILING??).

Talk about how you like to include the children in running errands and grocery shopping so they can have lots of learning experiences.
Don't talk about how it takes you two hours to leave the house because little Suzy pooped her pants and had to take a bath and then Tommy's shoes took an hour to locate (HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO LOSE ONE SHOE FROM EACH PAIR OF SHOES YOU OWN??). And then you can't find your car keys and by the time you find everything, it's snack time. And then you decide it's not even worth it to leave your house.

Talk about your moms' groups and what activities you do there.
Don't talk about how socially awkward you've become because 90% of your socialization comes from infants/toddlers/preschoolers. No need to mention it, it's already painfully obvious.

Talk about the nice playdates you set up for your children for socializing.
Don't mention that you have to spend five hours furiously cleaning the house if someone is coming  over because having small children means you are in an infinite, soul-crushing cycle of cleaning that somehow still leaves your house looking like you don't do anything all day.

Talk about self-improvement hobbies/books/videos/etc. you do while the children sleep.
I'm using "self-improvement" very loosely. Anything that helps you relax so you can spend another day taking care of little humans without wanting to kill something/someone counts.

Merry Christmas!
Now I just need to do three more loads of laundry...

Mika at 2 1/2

Weight: 28 lbs.

Height: 35.5"
Clothing size: 3T
Shoe size: 7
Favorite TV shows: Curious George, Mighty Machines, The Octonauts

My mini jetsetters

My favorite words/phrases:
Bidge= bridge
No touch it bew bew= don't touch the booboo
Picture me= take a picture of me
neaky = sneaky
nuggles = snuggles
hansitizer = hand sanitizer
pick my up/pick you up = pick me up
aaand my favorite- Hell Kitty = Hello Kitty

Eating a cider doughnut at the pumpkin patch

Her favorite books over the past 6 months: 

Today is Monday by Eric Carle (she dances and sings while I sing it)

"The Snowy Day by Jack Ezra Keats" (she especially liked the illustration of the boy when he was sad)
"King Bidgood's in the Bathtub" by Audrey Wood

Sleep:

She is not a good sleeper. She goes to bed in her bed but usually wakes up two hours later and won't stop crying unless she gets to get in "Mommy bed." I shouldn't give in, but I like sleeping with her.

Her lovey is a doll with a purple outfit that I creatively named "Purple Dolly." She takes a 1-2 hour afternoon nap.

Eating:

She's a good eater. She eats as much as a petite adult woman. She's not picky at all and always wants to try new food.

She loves Target as much as her mommy!

Potty Training:

We have her in cloth pull-ups (disposables if we're traveling). She will go #1 in the potty all day if I remind her every hour. Night time is a different story since she wakes up several times. I usually keep her in cloth pull-ups in public and she doesn't have accidents as long as I remember to have her use the bathroom every hour.

I guess the doll needed some Batman shoes

Things Mika likes to do:

• She likes to pretend to have phone conversations with people. She tries to keep up with Jackson and the imaginative play he tries to engage her in, but she's not at his level yet.
• She loves having her picture taken and looking at the pictures.
• Mika loves rocks. She loves collecting them and carrying them around the house. We'll be running an errand and I'll turn around and she'll be holding a rock from who knows where. I find them all over the house, including in her bed (sometimes she takes rocks to bed with her instead of a doll or teddy.)
• Mika is adventurous on playgrounds. She can climb up and down almost everything at the elementary school playground by herself.
• She loves drawing people. Her favorite people to draw are Auntie Rainey, Oma, and Opa. Jackson tried to teach her how to draw people, and now she can draw circles.
• Mika likes to be a drama queen. Geez, you'd think she is fifteen, not two. Half the time she throws a tantrum I'll ask her if she's being a drama queen and she'll instantly stop whining and laugh at me.
• She loved helping me with the garden. Her job was to water the carrots and cucumbers. I found a little watering can and wheelbarrow at Goodwill and she loved using them.

Fine motor snack activity! Moving marshmallows between containers with big tweezers.

Preschool stuff:

• She doesn't actually go to preschool, but she likes learning with me and Jackson.
• We are helping her learn colors. She knows orange, white, yellow, red, and blue. She gets purple and pink mixed up. 
• She knows circle, triangle, and square. 
• She has been able to sing the alphabet for a long time and now she is working on learning the letters.
• She can rote count to about twenty-nine by herself. She can count out objects up to about three.
• She likes cutting with scissors but always holds them the wrong way (thumbs down instead of thumbs up).

Jackson at 4 1/2

Weight: 38 pounds
Height: 42"
Clothing size: 4T/5T
Shoe size: 10
Favorite TV shows: Truck Tunes (on Youtube), The Axel Show (on YouTube), The Octonauts, Curious George, Mighty Machines (on Netflix, he calls it "My 'Chines")

My favorite words:
mudium= medium
swow down= slow down (he's the worst backseat driver)
sweep = sleep
stunk = skunk
just attending = just pretending
cycling = recycling
my 'stake = my mistake
nemory = memory
'nember dat? = remember that?

Sleep:

He sleeps like a rock from about 9:30-6:30. He also takes a 2-3 hour afternoon nap.

Food:

He's not the biggest fan of vegetables, but he likes corn, peas, carrots, sweet potatoes, and white potatoes. He will tolerate a bite of broccoli and cauliflower. He mainly likes chicken, pork, beef, salmon, dairy products, flour products, nuts, and fruit. So kind of picky, but there's a range of stuff he will eat. I make him take a "polite bite" of everything on his plate. He judges food by what it looks like and sometimes he'll like it if I make him try it. But I don't make him eat everything on his plate. He eats until he decides he's done and then he can go wash his hands and play.

vinegar and baking soda volcano

School Stuff:

• His teachers only had praise for him at the last parent-teacher conference. They said he follows the rules, he does things the first time he is asked (if only he was like that at home, ugh), he works well in a group and individually, and he is very independent. He is only going Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9-11:30 this semester. I don't need it like I used to because he has mellowed out a lot and is rarely a troublemaker like he used to be. I let him go more for the socialization aspect.
• He has mastered the alphabet and phonics, so now we are working on sight words. He likes figuring out which letters are in words. He likes playing with language and inventing words (he has "invented" different curse words and I'm hoping he never says them at preschool). He loves saying rhyming words.
• He can count to 199 without help. He thinks 1000 comes after 199, so we are working on 200-1000. He can count by twos, tens, and hundreds. He has a tendency to read numerals from right to left, so I'm working on reading left to right with him. (For example, he reads 150 as "fifty, one hundred.") He can't do addition or subtraction problems that we give him, but he makes up problems in his head and solves them. For example, he randomly told me in a drive through, "We need 12 burgers. Two for me, two for Mika, two for you, two for dad, two for Oma, two for Opa. That makes 12."
• He can tell time on the hour.
• He understands the concept of half, and we're working on more fractions (mainly just quarters).
• He was really into connect-the-dot puzzles and handwriting practice in his workbooks, but I think he got burned out by that because he hasn't been doing it at all lately. I don't make him do workbooks, I just have them available and he does them if he wants. He likes to write letters on blank sheets of paper. He can write Jackson, Mom, Dad, and Mika without help. I'm still working with him on writing from left to right in a straight line. He likes to put letters randomly all over the page.
• Jackson and I are studying insects right now. We checked out a bunch of insect books from the library and read them before nap. We look at insects in the yard. We looked at insects in our "creature peeper." We made insects out of recyclable materials.

• He likes cutting with scissors, but he has a tendency to do thumbs down instead of thumbs up.
• He likes to draw people. He does the body, arms, legs, eyes, mouth, ears, hair, and sometimes a nose.
• I feel like I'm always having to catch up to where he is. He is always surprising me with what he has learned and can do. It's so crazy to watch these little humans grow up into big kids.

He made "stew" out of grass and mixed it with water that had collected in his race track toy. He is always trying to involve Mika in imaginative play.

Other Stuff:

• He likes quoting from his books. For example, I heard him the other day saying, "Miss Clavel turned on the light and said, 'Something is not right!'" from Madeline.
• He is suuuper competitive. It began when we started playing games like Candy Land and Go Fish. Now everything is a competition. He cried the other day when Mika finished her milk before he did. But sometimes it helps, like when I'm trying to hurry the kids out the door. I can tell him that Mika's beating him and he'll magically be able to find his clothes and put his shoes on by himself instead of whining for help.
• He asks me about 8000 questions a day. I feel like my brain is turning into mush from him rapid-firing questions at me all day long.
• He likes to be helpful and he wants so badly to be a good boy. Thank goodness. I was about to lose it until he all of a sudden stopped being so crazy. He rarely has to go to timeout. He's been pretty good since his last birthday.
• He is so bossy! He is constantly bossing Mika around, sometimes he does it to me too.
• He takes pride in his accomplishments and is always seeking my approval.
• He likes to help with chores. He can put away his laundry, scrub dishes, vacuum, wipe down the table, and mop. I'm enjoying this stage because in a few years I'll have to bribe him with money but right now I get it for free.
• He lies. He'll tell me things like he only at two pieces of candy when I know he ate three. He'll tell me a ghost did random things around the house. He tells me Mika hit him when I know she didn't. Etc.

Jackson at 4 Years

Weight: 35 lbs
Height: 40"
Size: 4T, 10/11 size shoes
Favorite TV show: Curious George
Favorite books: Curious George books
Other favorite things: Batman and Spiderman (he informed me he doesn't like any Cars stuff anymore after I spent $100 on Cars stuff for his birthday)

I did NOT put that over his mouth...but I did not take it off ;)

My favorite words/phrases:
Coffeybille = Coffeyville
brexis = breakfast
Just a wiw brit = Just a little bit
tiward = tired
Dassin/Datsin/Jassin = Jackson
Oh my gosh!
atch atch atchuwy = actually (he tends to stutter)
sgetti = spaghetti

I need a sign for his back that says, "Don't judge me, he dresses himself."

Preschool Stuff:

• He started preschool in January and he loves it. For spring semester he went MWF 9-3 and TR 9-11:30 because I was too cheap to pay for full time every day. He will only go TR 9-11:30 next school year because of my class schedule.
• He still can't hold writing utensils in a tripod grasp, but he'll get it eventually. He knows all his letters. He likes trying to write letters, but doesn't always get it right. We keep a diary for him and sometimes he likes to "write" in it.
• He's really into phonics. He loves to rhyme words. He likes wordplay and making up silly things to say.
• He counts to about 30 but still misses a few numbers in the teens. He knows what the numbers mean, he can count objects as high as he can rote count, and he can do simple addition and subtraction problems in his head. His favorite is calculating how old Luke and Mika will be when he's x-years old.
• He's really good at stringing small beads.
• He can do 24- and 36-piece puzzles with no help and 48-piece puzzles with a little assistance.
• He can halfway tell time (just the hour hand). He knows the months, days of the week, and seasons. Although I don't know how well he actually understands those concepts. He still has a problem understanding what "today" is and thinks it starts each time you wake up (so after nap time is a new day in his head).
• He loves drawing people and can do the bodies, arms, legs, eyes, noses, mouths, and hair.
• He is very social and likes to hang out with boys his age. He can sit and have a conversation, initiate play, etc. 
• He loves to play games like Rummikub (he cheats a lot at that one), Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, War, Go Fish, Old Maid. He likes to win.
• He loves play doh.

J in his classroom 

Sleep and Life Skills:

• He sleeps about 9 hours at night and 2 hours for nap. He almost never wakes up at night and needs a hug, even with Mika screaming her head off in the next room. He likes the hall or bathroom light left on. Sometimes he needs to get up and uses the bathroom, but he gets himself back to sleep with no help from us. Once in a while he'll fuss because he wants me to fix his blanket.
• He brushes his teeth really well, but I like to brush afterwards just to make sure we got everything.
• He has been able to fully dress and undress for a while. He can do the small buttons on his polos and button ups. He can fold and put away his own clothes.
• He has been fully potty trained for a while and rarely wets the bed at night. He likes privacy in the bathroom and sometimes asks for help wiping, but he can do it himself if he's not feeling lazy.
• He is a pretty good eater for being a little kid. He doesn't eat as much as Mika, but he'll eat a bowl or small plate of food at almost every meal and snack time. He tries to weasel as many treats out of us as possible. He likes preparing food and helping us cook. He started putting his dishes and utensils in the sink when he finishes eating.
• We recently sorted through all his clothes to put away the 3T stuff and now he won't stop sorting them. I had all the sizes neatly folded into labeled bins, and Jackson loves to take everything out, look at the sizes on the tags, and resort them into piles. Really annoying, but I guess it's a good activity for him to do. He also started doing that with Mika's and Paul's clothes. (He thinks sizes go up to "100 T" because of the "100% Cotton" on the label.)
• We are doing the Dave Ramsey system of commission for chores. He gets a quarter for each room he cleans (bedroom, living room, and playroom). He can spend his commission on treats, toys, and the carousel at the mall.
• He can turn on the TV and playstation and get through all the menus to his Netflix shows. We started leaving the gate open and he goes downstairs in the morning and watches TV and eats the breakfast I leave out for him (raisins, apple, Cheerios, water).

If only he could be this enthusiastic about doing chores in ten years...

Other Stuff:

• He has speech dysfluencies common to preschool age: stuttering, fillers (mostly "eh" and "uh"), false starts, and repeated syllables and phrases.
• When Paul and I laugh at something on our phones, Jackson and Mika insist on looking at it too and they pretend to read it and laugh.
• Paul is going to work in the field and Jackson thought it was an actual field. On the way to Coffeyville he kept asking me, "Is Daddy going to THAT field? What about that one?" He says when he grows up he's going to work for Burns and McDonnell in "Coffeybille."
• He can hit a medium size ball with a bat if you throw it slowly.
• He still loves to go "re re re high" on the swing.
• He's so bossy and loves telling me and Mika what to do.
• He likes trying to climb trees. He likes riding his tricycle and scooter.
• He and Mika sing all day long.

The only person on the plane who actually reads the safety manual is a four-year-old kid

Mika at Two Years

Weight: 25.5

Height: 33"
Teeth: 16

Favorite book: "Boom Boom" (Chicka Chicka Boom Boom)

Favorite song: ABC's

Favorite tv show: Curious George

Favorite words: no, mine

Mika had her naming explosion right after turning twenty months. Right now she probably says about 200 words. Which if someone had told me their kid could say that many words two years ago when Jackson was barely talking, I would've called them a liar. But Mika has the advantage of an older sibling who is always talking to her. She speaks in 2-5 word sentences.

 Here's the birthday girl! In her nice birthday outfit that she later had explosive diarrhea all over.

Here are my favorite words of hers:

Jashin-Jackson

Biga-Mika

noonles- noodles

omen it- open it

wes- yes

dat-that

boops- boots

nger nger- finger 

Dorge- George 

guck- truck

galk- talk
bish- fish
waper- diaper
gicker- sticker
wook- look
agagago- avacado
bop- stop
ndgy ndgy- candy
gee gick- cheese stick
uh dat?- what's that?

Favorite phrases/sentences:
Mah boops!
Mah food!

Biga nurn- Mika's turn
Bull bup bull bup- Pull up the pull-up
Oh! 'Pider! (spider)
*hides* Biga, where are you?!

I couldn't resist the Hello Kitty ice cream cake.

She counts to about 20, but she skips the same numbers that Jackson does.
She can identify orange ("orrgsh") and purple. Sometimes blue, green, and pink.
She can put on and take off pants, shoes, and socks.

She holds writing utensils in the tripod grip already. Jackson still doesn't do that.

She has memorized a few books and can recite them as I turn the pages (or just from memory randomly).

She can climb up into her car seat and do the chest buckle. She yells, "Nee move!" while she's buckling (don't move the car).

She screams at everything and pretends to be afraid of it. She screamed at the Easter bunny and saw us laughing so now she does it for everything.

If she's handing you something and you don't take it, she will pry your fingers apart and put the object in your hand.

She still loves chasing birds.

She loves saying no and throwing her arms around her chest.

She likes to open mail boxes and say, "Hello? Anybody in there?" 

She likes to play catch.
She understands taking turns, but doesn't always want to.
She likes to yell "RIBBIT" and jump like a frog
She likes to "scare" me by saying "BOO!"
When we get to the end of books, she says, "the end."
She's a little pick pocket and likes to dig in our pockets and take our phones.
She loves to run over to the neighbor's house and knock. And I love the "HEWWO?!" And "Bye bye, see you later."
She likes to ring our doorbell every time she comes inside and asks, "Uh dat?"
When we drive away she says, "Bye house. Bye garage."
She likes to do high-fives up high and down low.
She prays sometimes. "Dear Jesus, thank you for walls, Mommy, and Daddy. Amen."
She can say, "War Eagle!"
She likes to do buckles.
She is obsessed with filling and pouring activities.

We painted her nails for the first time on her birthday with the sweet Hello Kitty nail polish she got for a present.

We started crib training in January. There was some crying because she felt like I had abandoned her, but she got used to her crib and even stopped waking up in the middle of the night after about two months. Aaaand then of course she got sick and started waking up again and doesn't go down easily any more. And the more homework I have a night, the more often she will wake up and scream.

She loves singing and will take familiar songs and change the words. For example, she'll sing about her Hello Kitty socks to the tune of the clean up song.
Her favorite songs to sing:
"Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"
ABC's in English and Spanish
"Itsy Bitsy Spider"
"Pat-a-cake"
"Wheels on the Bus"
"Hokey Pokey"
"Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes"
"Ring Around the Rosy"
"Thumbkin"
"Happy Birthday" (she calls it "Happy to you")

Parenting Classes by Micaela

I decided I'm starting my own business, Parenting Classes: Toddler and Preschool Years. For my low fee of $2000, I will live in your house for a week and show you what you really need to do to prepare yourself for parenthood.

Classes will includes a number of activities including but not limited to

• waking you up every day two hours before you want to get up
• waking you up at least once in the middle of the night
• throwing your phone down the toilet (if I'm feeling particularly mean) or at least hiding it somewhere in the house where you won't find it for several years (if I'm feeling generous)
• telling you what I want to eat and then throwing a tantrum when you bring me what I ask for
• throwing a tantrum because you did not give me the plate/cup/silverware I wanted
• throwing a tantrum because you did give me the plate/cup/silverware I wanted but now I see a different one and I want it
• arguing with you for half an hour about which shoes and jacket I am putting on
• running into the street cackling my head off the second you turn you back
• straightening and stiffening my body into an immovable log shape when you try to put me in my car seat
• either being silent and making you listen to kiddie music or letting you listen to your music while either screaming or asking questions nonstop
• Taking chocolate icing (we will pretend it's poop) and smearing it all over my body, bed, walls, and floor. And I will pick the day of the week that is most important for you to be on time for work.
• telling you which books I want for bedtime and then throwing a tantrum when you read me the books I requested
• making you be paranoid about getting more than two or three showers that week because you know I will start emptying all your nail polish bottles/eating toothpaste/digging my nails through all your makeup if you attempt to shower and watch me at the same time
• wiping my snot on your freshly dry cleaned clothes as you head out the door
• leaving wet spots on the floor and letting you guess if it's water or urine 
• leaving poop (or chocolate icing) on the floor where you won't find it for several days
• stuffing a half-eaten banana in between the couch cushions
• hiding your toothbrush/brush/other hygiene tool that you need the most that day (I will also pick the most important day of the week for this)
• hiding your keys in my toybox
• following you around the house while whining incessantly about nothing
• picking one question and asking you at least one hundred times that week
• wearing you down to the point that you use the TV as a babysitter, after you swore up and down that you would never be one of those horrible, lazy parents who use the TV as a babysitter
• hiding in the pantry and eating your favorite junk food
• standing in the bathroom enthusiastically emptying the soap dispenser on my body while you use the bathroom
• standing outside the bathroom door screaming as if I'm being murdered while you use the bathroom
• sneaking out the front door while you use the bathroom

Saipan Trip 2014, Part 2: The $5000 Picture

Four generations! Mika looks like she was adopted.

See, we are trying to do the whole Dave Ramsey thing, but the way I look at it is you can always pay off debt but you can't go back in time to see family. So even though we couldn't technically afford it, we went anyways. We went in April, I'm just really backlogged in my blogging. Here are some quick highlights of the trip:

It was my sister's 30th birthday! I think the day we got there? Not sure, it is SO confusing to travel this way because you cross so many time zones, including the International Date Line. Anyways, J decided to help with the candles.

This is Suicide Cliff, it makes me think of LOST. We went sight seeing on Saipan but not Tinian this time. If you have never heard of either island, they were a huge part of the WWII Pacific Theater. The Enola Gay and Bockscar took off from Tinian and dropped the atomic bombs on Japan. Here's some Wikipedia links if you're bored:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saipan#World_War_II 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinian#World_War_II 

Jackson inside the Last Command Post, where the Japanese command held out.

Mika fell asleep grocery shopping at Joeten, so naturally my sister and I dressed her up in different costumes.

Mmmm...a heaping pile of spam fried rice at Shirley's. So Chamorro.

We went to Mañagaha, an islet that's a short boat ride away from Saipan. Here is J with some cousins.

My nephew was baptized; the four-generations pic at the top is from that day.

J and his cousins decorated cupcakes. My sister and I found J under the table eating a container of sprinkles.

We went to the Hyatt, where Paul and I stayed on our honeymoon. This Hyatt has beautiful gardens, fountains, birds, and a great beach. The Japanese tourists were really cracking me up because they were obsessed with Mika! I felt like I was the mom of a celebrity. Everywhere we went, Japanese people would ask to take pictures with  her. We were in a tourist trap and I even saw a Japanese couple following me, sneaking down the aisle next to mine and watching me until I looked like I wasn't busy, then pouncing on me for a picture. It was surreal. 

Would you like a Crunky? How bout a Coolish?

The trip back went pretty well. We actually WERE kicked out of the first Skyclub in Japan. But in such a Japanese way. The ladies at the front desk would come back to the meeting room and inform us so politely that the other Skyclub in the airport had a playroom. We took the hint after they informed us for the third time. 

Saipan Trip 2014, Part 1: Traveling International with Two Kids

Our flight itinerary was Denver - Salt Lake City - Seattle - Tokyo/Narita - Saipan and then the same thing in reverse on the way back. The start of the trip was awful. Paul was on a business trip so I had to get all the packing done for three people going on a two-week trip while having no child care help. I also had to suffer through getting a limo service since Paul wasn't there to drive us to the airport ;) But in all seriousness, I had two kids and a ton of baggage, so I didn't have a choice. It only cost about $75, which was fine since the airport in Denver is about 100 miles away from the city (not really, but anyone who has lived in Denver can affirm that it feels like it.) Plus the driver put the bags in the SUV (I was on the third floor of the apartment building), helped me get the kids in the car seats, and then helped me get the bags into the airport.

I don't really remember the first two flights, except I think the kids were pretty good, especially since on the DEN-SLC leg a really nice old man sat next to us and entertained Jackson. I had booked the flights on the phone with my mom and sister, so the Delta agent was able to have our flights meet in Seattle and then have us go the rest of the way together. The tenish-hour flight between Seattle and Narita was not as horrific as I was expecting it to be. My mom, sister, nephew, and Jackson were in bulkhead seats and then Mika and I were behind them. When we got to Narita, we commandeered the Delta Skyclub with tickets I got on Ebay for half price. It was $25 per person, with Mika and my nephew being free since they were under two. I didn't get a picture, but this Skyclub has a buffet and fully-stocked bar. Totally worth the money since we had a seven-hour layover. 

We took over a meeting room that is part of the Skyclub. I can't believe we didn't get kicked out, the kids were being really loud.

 Then...the Delta agent had put me and the kids in first class for both flights between Narita and Saipan! 

Real china, a cloth tablecloth and napkin, real silverware, real stemware, real FOOD and not that crap they serve in sardine class. I was giddy with excitement at my luck at being able to enjoy eating in first class with both kids asleep. I was savoring every second. I was thinking, "Hey! This isn't bad at all!" So naturally, the kids woke up right when I finished eating and screamed their heads off from the second the descent started and kept it up until we got the baggage claim. See, the thing about being a parent is that you can't EVER let happy thoughts about your kids' good behavior even form in your brain because if you start to think something good your child will immediately start misbehaving. It's called the Law of Kids Really Suck Sometimes. It's scientific, I looked it up.

Here is Mika angelically sleeping on a real pillow and a real comforter before The Reckoning.

I can't remember what time we got to Saipan. Total travel time was about 24 hours. My family met us at the airport and drove us home. It took...3 cars (?) to fit us and all of our crap.

Mika at 20 Months

Weight: 23ish pounds
Height: 31ish inches

New Words: jump, no, gick (cheese stick), bop/dop (stop), pink, blue, cracker, cheese, eye, nose, mouth, ear, head, car, off, nana (banana), water, coat rack, pee pee, stinky, mine, candy cane, juice, yes, hug, Nana (Natalie), apple, shopping cart, nurse (the verb not the noun), grandpa, helicopter, upside-down, duck, fish, purse, the end (when we finish books), strawberry, orange, yellow, sit, ah-nah (I'm done)

Some of my favorite things she says:

No, no, no! (with finger wagging)

Uh-uh! No, mine! (jerking away whatever Jackson is trying to take)

Stinky, stinky (with hand wafting away the smell)
Up high! Down low! (For high-fives)

• She tries to feed her baby dolls real food.
• She can stack up to 8 blocks.
• She discovered how to push chairs up to light switches and turn the lights on and off. Hundreds of times.
• She is turning into a little firecracker. She likes to talk and act just like her big brother. Which is not good for me because he is CRAZY. I think she'd stay pretty mellow if it wasn't for him. She yells at me now. MY ONE-YEAR-OLD YELLS AT ME. Ugh. She yells at me to sit down and to stop walking. It's so funny when she does it though, I can never get my "serious parent face" together and tell her that kids don't yell at adults.
• When I'm using the bathroom, she likes to get a square of toilet paper and pretend to sneeze into it and then wipe herself.