The Tenth Month of Misery

Sounds like it should be a poem. A poem I would be good at writing since this is the second time I've been in a pregnancy that went into the tenth month. Here are some random ramblings.


J tried to help induce labor by throwing a full Costco-size tub of peanut butter on my belly. It didn't work.

I am down to three outfits now because my belly is so huge.

I am so done with nesting. My house is clean enough. I don't care anymore.

I know I should be used to this because I'm about to pop out my second child, but it really freaks me out that there is a person in my body.

I get out of breath just by walking up the stairs in my house.

I have gained 25 pounds.

I need to lose 100 pounds.

I think this kid is going to weigh 10 pounds, so at least that'll be 10% of my goal.

It's getting really hard to manage a toddler with my huge belly dragging me down.

I started wearing incontinence pads so that I'll have less to clean up when my water breaks. Yes, I'm that lazy. But I'd also hate for my water to break on my cloth car seat/couch/mattress without something there to soak it up. I'm also afraid of my water breaking in public and having to get someone to clean it up. So...therefore I wear pads the size of a Subway foot-long sandwich.

I'm writing this at midnight. I think my toddler is awake and walking around upstairs, but I'm too lazy to go check on him.

My belly button is making a valiant effort to not pop out. My husband makes fun of me all the time and tries to make it pop out.

I didn't have enough money to get professional maternity pictures. But my husband got a picture I love. Except there is a parking lot in the background. Can someone edit the cars out?

I think I should go see what my toddler is doing.