The Tenth Month of Misery

Sounds like it should be a poem. A poem I would be good at writing since this is the second time I've been in a pregnancy that went into the tenth month. Here are some random ramblings.


J tried to help induce labor by throwing a full Costco-size tub of peanut butter on my belly. It didn't work.

I am down to three outfits now because my belly is so huge.

I am so done with nesting. My house is clean enough. I don't care anymore.

I know I should be used to this because I'm about to pop out my second child, but it really freaks me out that there is a person in my body.

I get out of breath just by walking up the stairs in my house.

I have gained 25 pounds.

I need to lose 100 pounds.

I think this kid is going to weigh 10 pounds, so at least that'll be 10% of my goal.

It's getting really hard to manage a toddler with my huge belly dragging me down.

I started wearing incontinence pads so that I'll have less to clean up when my water breaks. Yes, I'm that lazy. But I'd also hate for my water to break on my cloth car seat/couch/mattress without something there to soak it up. I'm also afraid of my water breaking in public and having to get someone to clean it up. So...therefore I wear pads the size of a Subway foot-long sandwich.

I'm writing this at midnight. I think my toddler is awake and walking around upstairs, but I'm too lazy to go check on him.

My belly button is making a valiant effort to not pop out. My husband makes fun of me all the time and tries to make it pop out.

I didn't have enough money to get professional maternity pictures. But my husband got a picture I love. Except there is a parking lot in the background. Can someone edit the cars out?

I think I should go see what my toddler is doing.

Burkenomics: My 26th Birthday

How do you have a Burkenomics birthday?  Sign up for every restaurant's eclub.  You usually get something free on your birthday and a good coupon just for signing up.  You just go to websites of your favorite restaurants, find their eclub sign-up, and fill in your information.  Then you can celebrate your birthday the Burke way- getting free stuff all day.

Breakfast:

Ok, I didn't use a coupon, but I was salvaging bananas that were about to go bad.

Thought I'd be all pinteresty and make the banana and egg pancakes that all the health nuts are raving about.

Doesn't it look healthy and awesome???

They suck.

 Seriously, if someone tells you it's good, they're just jealous that you eat flour products and they're on some horrible no-carb diet.

Snack:

Cupcakes from the neighbor! Yum!

Lunch:

FREE FIREHOUSE SUBS! 

Except J and I shared. Which means he ate all the meat, cheese, and soft bread parts so I basically got a lettuce sandwich on bread crust. The sacrifices I have to make as a mother, sheesh.

FREE MAKEUP!

BIRTHDAY ROSES! 

Purchased with a Groupon, of course.

And our dinner bonanza:

FREE MOES! 

With purchase of a drink.

MORE FREE FIREHOUSE SUBS!

FREE KRISPY KREME OREO DOUGHNUT!

One of the best doughnuts I've ever eaten. 

Seriously, go to Krispy Kreme and buy this.

FREE CARIBOU COFFEE!

FREE BASKIN ROBINS!

FREE WINGS, CAKE, AND ICE CREAM FROM BUFFALO WILD WINGS!

In case you couldn't see how magnificent the cake was from the previous picture.

Even the TV knew it was my special day <3

J at 23 Months and Baby at 38 Weeks

Weight: 25.5 lbs
Height: 32"

Words: Mom, Dad, uh-oh, ah (for hot), BAAWWLLLL (for ball)

Favorite game: pointing and having us name things

Favorite book: I don't think he has a favorite right now

Favorite toy: his new play-doh set

Favorite activities: anything outside

Favorite food: butter

Favorite thing ever: trucks

Here are little tidbits about J:

• Sounds and movements: elephants, monkeys, penguins, fish, anything that roars, giraffes, bats/birds, bees, dogs, snakes, owls, sheep, spiders, sirens (says "wee-ooo")
• He loves "reading." I'll be in another room and hear "uuuhhhhhh,  uuuhhhh, uuuhhhh." That's how he reads each page. Then I can tell he's "counting" if I hear, "Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh." 
• I bought a fancy play-doh set for him with twenty colors and lots of accessories for cutting out shapes. He loves stacking the little cans just as much as playing with the dough. He was really excited about the set, but I think I was more excited than he was :) 

• He thinks it's hilarious to lean to the side and let out huge farts. He also burps and follows it with an "ahhhh." Yep, we're pretty classy.
• We're trying to teach him to hold up two fingers when we ask him how old he is. He  does it most of the time.
• He can identify colors most of the time when we ask him.
• He figured out how to blow bubbles. He also blows on his food when it's hot.

• He gets up super early, so we're trying to train him to sleep a little longer. Ok, so maybe between 5:30 and 6:30 isn't all that early, but it's still annoying. My husband bought a GoodNite Lite, which is a "behavorial modification device" that you program to light the moon at a certain time to tell the kid to stay in bed and the sun at a certain time to tell the kid it's ok to get up. J loves it, but I think it's super creepy and would have had nightmares if that thing was on in my room as a kid.
• He loves bath time. If you tell him to wash a certain body part, he'll scrub it himself with a wash cloth. 
• He hates nap time. I've transitioned him to his room and he hates it. Even when I sleep with him, he still doesn't sleep as long as he used to and wakes up screaming and crying. I want to go back to doing naps with him in my big, comfortable bed, but we can't since I'll have the baby in my room.
• He loves our new washer. It's a front loader, so he can stand there and watch the clothes spin around. We found an open-box pedestal for half off, but the guy at Best Buy lied to me when he said it was compatible with our washer and we found out it didn't fit when it was delivered. So our washer is sitting on the floor and it's at the perfect height for him to watch the clothes and press the buttons. It has a child lock, but he still figured out ways to get around it and mess up the loads. I'd get irritated with him, but I know how enticing the knob and big buttons are to him and I don't think any toddler could resist messing with it.
• J is really outgoing. He loves going up to strangers and saying hello and giving other kids hugs and stuff. He will follow other kids around and imitate everything they do.

He loves his "new" car (thrift store, $13) and waves to everyone who drives by

• We want to potty train him, but it's hard because he likes to have privacy while he does his business. He'll pee in his potty, hold in the fun stuff until I put a diaper on him, and immediately go hide somewhere and do his business once he's off the potty. So that's fun. But I guess it's our fault because we got lazy, stopped using the potty around Christmas, and just started back a week or so ago.
• He thinks "sister" is the same thing as "belly." So if we ask him where his sister is, he will point to his belly, my husband's belly, a stranger's belly, etc. We've been trying to explain to him that there is a baby in my belly, but he doesn't get it.

He loves making "parades"

Baby Girl:

My husband painted her room. I wanted a very light shade of pink, almost a white but with just enough pink to tell it's pink. I guess we should've paid for the $5 sample can to see what it looked like first, because it looks like someone threw up pepto bismol all over the walls. Definitely darker than I thought it would be. I asked my husband to repaint it a lighter shade and he laughed at me and refused. So...totally messed up everything I was going to buy/make for her room. Glad I hadn't purchased much yet. I bought a sewing machine because I can't find the curtains and bed skirt I want, so I'm going to attempt to make them myself. I'm sure it'll look like a blind five-year-old made them, but I guess she won't know the difference.

We did her 3D ultrasound and she's a porker. She has lots of hair. And I think she has dimples. She slept the whole time but we got one shot with her smiling.

Momma:

Most of my maternity shirts aren't long enough to cover my belly anymore and I'm running out of clothes to wear. So when our washer broke last week, that was pretty awesome. I was so stressed out because the quote for painting our house and fixing the siding was $8500, the washer broke, the door handle on the Sequoia hatch broke, and the downstairs toilet broke. All in the same week. BUT we got another painting/siding quote for $5000, we got a new front-loader washing machine on sale, my husband is fixing the door handle and all it's costing us is the $20 part (they charge $300 at the dealership to fix it), and my husband fixed the toilet for $8. So everything is working out, but the nesting instinct is driving me nuts. I feel compelled to organize every possession I have and spring clean the whole house. My current project is washing and organizing all the kids' clothes into tubs from size newborn to 5T (I stock up in advance). We're also spring cleaning the master bedroom and bathroom this week. Then we will hopefully finish painting her room and setting up her furniture on Sunday.